


Who's Behind Oha Asa's Bad Ass Perfect Predictions?

by Stupiak Kitty (y0haNna)



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Humor, Laugh with me, M/M, fortune teller, idk what I am doing ww
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-20
Updated: 2015-09-20
Packaged: 2018-04-22 12:10:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4834817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/y0haNna/pseuds/Stupiak%20Kitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ever wonder who's behind the ever perfect prediction of Oha Asa?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Who's Behind Oha Asa's Bad Ass Perfect Predictions?

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this idea for a very long time, but due to my long lists of pending and on going stories, I can't find the right chance to do this. If you're reading this now, behold! The chance is here! LOL.
> 
> Doesn't follow the time line of the anime.

 

**xXx**

It was a typical Monday morning inside the Midorima's house. Everyday, in a constant time of the day, a tall boy named Shintarou would always occupy his usual sit on their dining table set, the remote on the table next to his plate, while eating his breakfast with the television's sound on the background.

The said sound was a female voice; a higher tone, more like soprano voice, echoing around the dining room. It was a bubbly and energetic voice. A voice that was perfect for this kind of show.

It was the usual morning horoscope; The Oha Asa.

The voice told the fortune of every signs with so much energy, sharing their fates with so much detail and adept fashion.

She would always say their lucky items after the prediction, and that was the very moment Shintarou has been waiting for.

Oha Asa's prediction was always right, always precise and always true. Even the lucky items were correct and effective, no matter how random and bizarre it was. And by that reason, Shintarou was hooked.

When the voice was through with the Gemini Sign, Shintarou stopped his eating and strained his ears, not wanting to miss every detail the voice would be telling.

(Italic) And let's now proceed to the water sign Cancer! Today is a so so day for Cancers. Not lucky, but not worse either. Be sure to avoid any person with Leo and Aquarius signs, for it would bring you extreme loss; but stick with signs the same element as you, they could make your day right. Your lucky item is a bear, lucky color is green, lucky number is 10. Avoid any shades of red and blue. (Italic)

Shintarou was not satisfied with his prediction today. As usual, the Oha Asa was right again. The Seirin and Shutoku will be having a practice game today, and there are only two persons who he knew were Leo and Aquarius.

Kagami and Kuroko.

The colors were precise too, so there's no doubt. The voice was pertaining about them; his only hope was their victory today.

The voice was now telling the fate of Leo, but instead of turning off the television he waited. He wanted to know the fate of Scorpio before anything else.

Takao is Scorpio, one of his team mates, Miyaji-senpai is a Scorpio as well. The Oha Asa said to stick with the same element as his sign. Scorpio is a water sign too, so he has no choice but to see their fate today.

It's not like he was concern. He only wanted to secure their victory.

**xXx**

Shintarou was delighted. Oha Asa was right. They secured their win because he obeyed the Oha Asa's words; by sticking to the same element as him. Miyaji-senpai and he were not close, so he only stick to Takao ― since the said boy has always been with him like a glue, it's not so hard to convince him to stick with him today.

"Nice, Shin-chan! We won!" Takao lifted his right hand to give him a high five. Since they won, he allowed himself to repay it with his left hand. The hawk boy laughed. "Your teddy bear was effective. But as always, your lucky item is always effective."

"Hmph. Of course, Oha Asa is always right."

Takao laughed again. "I can't say you're wrong. Heh. I'm not a fan of horoscope and stuff, but Oha Asa was wow. Your prediction was spot on! How did the fortune teller know that you'd be playing with Aquarius and Leo? Kagami and Kuroko have those signs, right?"

"She never said anything about playing, she only said that I must avoid those with the two signs."

"Still! I don't know if it's coincidence or what, especially when she told you to stick with Scorpios!"

Midorima frowned. "Tch, she never said to stick with Scorpios. She said to stick with the same elements as mine."

"Scorpio is a water sign, right?"

"Pisces is a water sign too," Midorima countered.

"But you don't know anyone with Pisces sign, so Oha Asa must be talking about me," Takao only grinned.

"Surely, she doesn't know me or you, Takao. Oha Asa is a popular morning horoscope."

"Hmm...Shin-chan, what if she knows you?"

"What?"

"Just think of this; what if the fortune teller of Oha Asa knows you? Or the other way around?"

Midorima scoffed. "That's impossible, Takao."

"What if your sister is the voice behind Oha Asa?"

"Don't be ridiculous!"

Takao laughed. "Are you not curious about the identity of the person behind the absolute prediction of Oha Asa?"

Hearing Takao's words, Midorima frowned when certain someone came into mind. Hearing that certain word made him remember someone. He almost snorted. Surely, this is not probable to happen for real.

Despite that, he couldn't deny the fact that he was also curious about the real identity of the person responsible for the predictions in Oha Asa.

**xXx**

Random day;  
Somewhere around the room;

The corner of his lips tugged up once he finished typing the last words of a short paragraph. He saved it on his word document and scanned it again. There are twelve sections of paragraph on the Word, each paragraph was for every zodiac signs that needs his readings.

He almost snort with that. Just because he was always right and absolute, doesn't mean that he could be a fortune teller. But, how could he deny this job if all that he was supposed to do is to memorize each zodiac sign and write what's on his mind depending on the sign?

It's not difficult, since all ― if not always ― his insights were always right.

Once he was satisfied with the paragraph, he opened another Word document and typed every signs by order.

Then, he began to type every items that came to mind ― any random items that he knows. If he's unsure, there's always Google.

He has been doing this ever since the main producer of the Oha Asa contacted him, and it's been awhile, so there were times when he was stumped just by thinking of the lucky items of the twelve signs.

He was lucky he knew someone who's intuition is as sharp as his brain. The guy may not be absolute as him, but he's intellectual and observant. He (the absolute one) studied Astrology and the characteristics of each signs, and according to it, Aquarius is a very good sign to go to if you want an unbias advice.

One, two, three rings before his Aquarius acquiantance picked his phone up. With his usual deadpan voice, he said, "Hello, Akashi-kun?"

"Tetsuya, I'm glad you picked up," He answered. "Are you perhaps busy at the moment?"

"No, I'm not, Akashi-kun," Kuroko said. "Do you need help with your job again?"

Akashi was greatful Tetsuya was keen with getting things. The main reason why he was confident to reveal his secret job to him. "Yes," He agreed. "I am stumped with the items again."

"Hmm... Are you, perhaps, stumped with Midorima-kun's sign again?"

Akashi tried his best not to smile. "It was for Kazunari's sign this time."

"Oh," Was Kuroko's reply.

"According to the placements of the planets right now, Scorpio has a transit Pluto square neptune at the moment, so this day, perhaps, until next month, Scorpio's luck is not visible this time."

"Akashi-kun, can you please speak in a term that I can understand?"

"Oh, I apologize, I was too caught up with studying Astrology to better my readings," He said. "I won't tolerate any mistakes coming from me. Also, I can't let all the Oha Asa's fanatics down, can I?"

Tetsuya sighed, but Akashi knew it was him trying to laugh. "I wonder how Midorima-kun would react if he knew that you were the person behind the predictions he held dear,"

"He must not know this, or my prediction might lose its effects,"

"I know, Akashi-kun," Kuroko said. "So...about the Scorpio's items..."

"Yes, Scorpio's luck is not good today, and I'm certain it'd last atleast a week or so. We need items that is not easy to find."

"You're not doing this because of Takao-kun, are you?"

"No, Tetsuya. I'm doing this because I want Shintarou to realize his feelings to Kazunari."

Akashi swore he heard a faint chuckle coming from the other line.

"Not only you're a fortune teller, but now you're acting as a match maker for Takao-kun and Midorima-kun," Kuroko said. "I wonder what else would you do for the sake of the two,"

"Who knows, Tetsuya?" Akashi said. "I might be the priest who'd marry them off someday."

Kuroko noticed the underlying warning with Akashi's voice so he let it be. "I think I know an item that is not easy to find, Akashi-kun."

"Oh? What is it then?"

"A book," He said. "There was a book that I read years ago. It's not a popular book so it's not easy to find."

"Really?"

"Yes, Akashi-kun," Kuroko answered. "I have the first installment of the book. The second and the third one was now rare, even the library doesn't have any copy of it anymore. I'm trying to find the books again, but I failed to do so."

"Hmm..." Akashi tapped his spacebar as he thought of the items for Scorpio. "So, what I have first in mind was a magnifying glass and a monkey statue. Perhaps we can include the books that you're talking about. Though, are you certain you're recommending me these books for the Scorpio's luck's sake, or is it to find the next installment easier, so then you could borrow it from Kazunari?"

Akashi heard another sigh again. "I think it's safe to say it's for both's sake."

"Then, we'll include the books then," He said. "Thank you for the time, Tetsuya."

"Anytime, Akashi-kun."

Akashi typed all of the lucky items on the Word with the title: Lucky item. While doing it, his phone rang.

"Yes, hello?" He said.

"Akashi-kun, good evening," A voice that is familiar said.

"If you're calling to know if the readings for tomorrow's are now ready, I am pleased to tell you that it is," He said. "I am now sending it to your mail."

"Thank you, Akashi-kun," The voice said. "Your efforts are very much appreciated."

"Of course," Akashi said.

"Ah! I've seen it already."

"Well then. Do you have any questions before rehearsing the readings?"

"No, Akashi-kun, this is good, so good. You are so talented for a high school student to predict something as absolute as this. It's a shame I could only voice these perfect paragraphs out."

"Hmm... Nothing will ever be wrong with what I say and would say," Akashi said. "For I am absolute."

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> xXx
> 
> The end.
> 
> A/N: Get that? Oha Asa's predictions are absolute. Akashi is absolute. What do we have? A fortune teller Akashi! Hahahaha. I swear, I can't. I've been making Akashi do unusual things. :D
> 
> Trivia: this story is somewhat connected to Akashi's New Job
> 
> OPEN FOR EDITING


End file.
